Still sick, I eased into bed, finding my space amongst the seven snoozing pups. I elevated the back of my bed so I could sit up…and thereby breathe. As I settled in, I noticed a funny feeling on the surface of my chest. I slid my hand into my night shirt and yikes! I felt lots of little round bumps. My eyes sprung open as I jumped from the bed, “Oh No! It can’t be! MEASLES! What next?!”
Flinging on the bathroom light, as I lifted my shirt and peered in the mirror – “yep, it looks like measles!”
Did a Dr. Google search. Measles: Fever, dry cough, runny nose, sore throat...and a skin rash made up of large, flat blotches that often flow into one another.
Wow! Measles. Who would think I could come down with measles?
And then…..drum roll….my sane brain clicked in and I remembered that I had measles as a kid and that you could only get measles once. And then said sane brain further remembered that during my serious chest congestion, I not only lathered my chest with Vick’s Vapor Rub (like mom used to) but about ten different essential oils on various days.
My chest skin was probably just shouting, “Enough alright, already! Give us a break here.”
So the great spot dilemma solved, I crawled back into my bed, moving a warm pup here, another there, so I could stretch out my legs and drift into peaceful sleep.
Yes of course, there’s more.
The next day I was sitting upright (yay me!) at my desk working on my budget, using both red and green roller ball pens for impact. My nose started running and a sneeze was brewing so I grabbed my tissue and gave my nose a good honk. As I lowered my tissue, I saw that it was covered with blood – and my thumb was also smeared with what appeared to be blood.
“Oh no! What next! Don’t tell me I’m hemorrhaging out my nose!” So I dash to the downstairs bathroom and stare into the mirror. Wowza – my entire nose is bright red. How could that be? Upon closer inspection, my tissue was not filled with blood, but with red ink that bled from my roller ball pen when I neglected to replace the cap. From there, when I sneezed – my tissue transferred the red ink to my entire nose which was now a bright red ball not unlike Bozo’s schnozz. I was relieved that it was ink and not blood, but a bit chagrined that this ink was quite stubborn and was not easily removed.
So I showed up at work (I dropped in for a few trial hours to see if I could return to work for real) with a red stain on and under my nose. A beauty queen I ain’t.
And so goes my wild and boring life – if it’s not one thing, it’s another.
Ann is a modern day Erma Bombeck - enjoying the foibles of her own life and that of living with 7 dogs and 2 hens.